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File: D.N. “Nicki” Lyons

Age: 27.1 years old

Offending Document: Neptune the
Briarhearted – Book I: The Beginning

Insanity Level: Bipolar Schizophrenic.

So I woke up this morning with a blistering sinus headache.
I mean, oh my God, fires of Hell, someone smashed me in the face with a spanner
sinus headache. What do you think I did about that?

Yeah, it wasn’t too unusual. So I just sat down, watched
People’s Court, and drank a disgusting concoction made of beets, spinach and
assorted fruit. Then I went to the gym and lifted almost one and a half times
my body weight. Pretty standard.

You see, I’m the kind of girl who lurches out of bed in the
morning, cusses out the cat when her blanket smells like pee, and drinks either
a metric fuckton of caffeine for breakfast or has nothing at all. I like my
mornings like I like my Tetris games: hard and fast.

Recently I published my first novel, Neptune
the Briarhearted – Book I: The Beginning. It’s a lovely little tale, filled
with humor, dark Lords, demons and magic, all mixed up in a pot with a
black-skinned, blonde-haired Wizard. Genetic limitations have no meaning to the
Planetaries.

This is in the same world (though far before that time) as “What
Flavor Are You?” a short story that is definitely not meant for the kiddies.
But this one—Neptune the Briarhearted, that
is—is YA. Harry Potter kinda stuff, or Lord of the Rings. Not adult in
content—and kids like Wizards and Elves a lot more than adults do, to hear my
local librarians talk. (The hand-drawn graphic novel type cover is a plus.)

So…if you want it, you can either order a preorder copy
directly from me (only 59 of the limited print are left, and they are signed
and numbered in the back, autographed in the front), or rush to your local
bookstore to have them carry it. If you ask Amazon really nicely, they might
put it on the Kindle. ^_^

And hey—Don’t be a stranger! Come on over to my neck of the
woods sometime.

Buy a first print: (PayPal is the only online payer I use
right now. But snail mail or Western Union is
also o.k.…just no cash. Personal checks are fine too.)

locke.saintaugustin (at) rocketmail.com

Get in touch: (Add me as a friend! I don’t bite. And if your
kiddies want a poster, ask here.)

http://www.facebook.com/author.dn.lyons/